In a staff meeting this morning Ryan Pendell, managing editor of Silicon Prairie News, announced to the entire SPN staff that, as of April 1, there would be no more Analog the Prairie Dog.
“Analog is dead to us,” said Pendell. “Never speak of him again.”
Pendell then unveiled the new SPN mascot: Ameer the Meerkat.
“Ameer combines two very popular things,” said Pendell. “A meerkat and former Nebraska running back Ameer Abdullah.”
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Pendell added that he thinks they are really going to crush it on the SEO.
“I don’t care what the words mean or why they are trending,” said Pendell. “It’s about metrics. All I care about is funneling conversions to Infotec.”
Pendell elaborated further on his plans for SPN.
“We’re going to pivot our bootstraps and whitelabel our verticals. And we’re going to validate our cash flow by reverse pitching our landing page. Also Lean.”
Pendell believes that Ameer the Meerkat is key to this strategy. In fact, he has decreed that Ameer should be referred to as a “stakeholder” in all casual conversations around the office.
“We’re trying to radically change the culture here so that it is unrecognizable as SPN,” said Pendell. “And hopefully royally upset Kansas City in the process.”
“Also Lean,” Pendell added.
Pendell further mentioned that SPN was totally .NET and not Java, and that any questions or concerns could be fixed on the backend.
“If you growth hack me, I’m going to growth hack you right back,” said Pendell. “That’s just how I roll.”
When asked about Periscope and the collapse of Meerkat app hype, Pendell was confident.
“Meerkat is the new Ello,” said Pendell. “It’s the nature of things. Ello killed Facebook. Disrupt. Cloud. Singularity. No further comment.”
Update: April Fools!
